Wanna See Something Funny?

Hee hee...okay, okay, I'm trying to control myself. Really, I am, but OMG this is sooooooo funny!Okay okay...breathe! Okay, so here's the set up. I was happily chewing a bully stick, Duncan was passed out snoring and mom and dad were looking for a phone book or something, and while they were going through the cabinets and stuff, dad pulled out this shirt...a TINY shirt.

Dad: "Honey, what's this?"

Mom: "Oh, it's an Auburn shirt I bought for someone's dog, but it was too small, it won't fit any dog I know."

Dad (with an evil grin): "I know who it will fit..."

Mom: "Oh no, wait a second, what are you thinking...."

Dad: "SIMON!"

I almost spit out my bully stick. Duncan woke up with a snort. The other two kitties who were nowhere to be found popped up like gophers.

I was even more shocked when mom, who usually defends Simon from everything was like "Hee hee...let me see that!" Sure enough, mom got the wee T-shirt that says: I Eat Elephants (Elephants are the mascot of Auburn's evil rival, The University of Alabama) and Simon, and, and.....OMG it's soooo funny! Are you ready?!?!!? ARE YOU READY?!?!

I think he looks happy? Don't you? Bahahahahahahaha!!!!

He tried to escape....

But I stopped him in between laughing my butt off!

He gave mom a serious case of stink eye!
I think this looks says it ALL!

I'm still laughing about this. I may have peed myself a little. Even Duncan got in several laughs. The other kitties pointed and stared then realized what was up and ran away before mom and dad could find them.

Mom took off the shirt after her and daddy finally composed themselves. Simon acted like nothing ever happened. I guess denial is the best way to get over something. But it sure was funny!

My Xmas Loot!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!!

We had a lot of fun with our family and friends. We ate a lot (well, mom and daddy did!!) and I played with Rebel a lot. It was a great holiday with no drama and just lots of laughs and good times.

ALSO Santa came to see me Christmas day morning and I'm here to show you all my loot....behold!

SHABAM! Look at all those toys!

I got this stretchy mokey thing, a red pull thing, a chicken and a tennis ball thing!

Oh, and my gator posse!

I am queen of the toys! Muwhahahahahaha!

I said Queen, not a lady...mom said this isn't very ladylike! Pfft!

Mom got some cool stuff too. Daddy got her a new coffee pot. It's very shiny and mom doesn't have to rig it up to work like our old one. This one is automatic and grinds the beans and everything! And then Granny got mom this cool blanket!

Granny said that she tried to find one with a black shepherd like me, but couldn't. What's up with that yo? Don't be hatin' blanket people!!

I tried to use my lazer eyes to make it change colors, but it didn't work. Mom likes it though. They also got lots of books and stuff and had a great holiday.

Mom said next is New Year's. I guess I have to start thinking of my new year's resolution. Hmmm....this may take a while!

Hope you and yours had a Merry Christmas and I'm thankful for all of you who are my friends!! Big slobbery kisses! Muwah!

P.S.

Someone asked where my 16 squeaker gator came from, Mom said Santa found it at Petsmart!

Vet News and Toys!

So we went to the Dr. Vet this morning...it started out fine. I had some cheese, saw some other doggies, then it happened...they stuck something in my butt. It went downhill from there.

Everything is good...I'm a healthy weight, my teeth and stuff are all good, no bugs. But then they asked Dr. Vet about my leg. Dr. Vet did some MORE poking and prodding and made we walk so she could watch, then poked and prodded again and is thinking I might have a big word that basically means elbow dysplasia.

She told mom and dad that she wants me to get some xrays in January and then if it is the big bad ED (not that kind of ED that men peoples need a blue pill for...hee hee) then we'll find an ortho vet and go from there.

Mom and dad are hoping my xrays come back fine. They're also doing my hips too to make sure they're okay too. I guess the cool thing is I get to see what my bones look like! Cool! And mom is very glad she enrolled me in doggy insurance when I was a little pupper!

After Dr. Vet, we came home and chilled out. Mom and Dad said Santa must have came by while we were gone cause I had two pressies! So I got to open them...I got a big Alley-gator with like 16 squeakers and a smaller, Alley-gator minion that squeaks! I've been having fun playing with them and Santa brought Duncan a Puppy chocolate bar. He doesn't care about toys, but he loves food!

Gimme! Gimme!!

Wow, 16 squeakers! Santa must be CRAZY!!!

I got a gator ARMY!

Less squeakers, but he's VERY loud! And makes a great boa!

Mom! Some privacy puh-lease! Geez!

We'll be traveling up to Granny and Pawpaw's tomorrow, so I don't know if I'll be blogging much through Christmas! If I don't, I wish you and your family the very best holiday ever and that you get tons of fun pressies from Santa! I know you've all been good!!

You Shouldn't Have...Really!

So it's the week of Christmas! Yay! Everyone is all holly and jolly and stuff. Mom is off most of the week, I get presents (I think they bought the whole kitty/present destruction of 2009 thing...ha ha!) and get to go see Granny, Pawpaw and Rebel and....Dr. Vet?

Wait....play screetching tires sound effect....Dr. Vet?

Wednesday Mom and Dad are taking me to Dr. Vet for my "annual exam." The day before Christmas. What the crap parents? You're killing me here! I don't even have time to study! This is supposed to be a time of joy and happiness, not thermometers up my bum!

This has to be like the worst Christmas present ever! But mom said since they got me last year the week before Christmas, that my shots are due on the 23rd. Wait, more screetching tires....SHOTS?!?!

No good is going to come of this...I can tell. Mom also wants Dr. Vet to check out my left front leg. If I land on it a certain way at random moments in time it hurts and I yelp and mom gets all freaked out and worried. I told her I'm fine, but she doesn't believe me. Sigh.

But mom did say since Dad has to work Christmas Eve that Santa may come by the house Wednesday night and give me some presents, then I'll get some more on Christmas day. This makes the trip to Dr. Vet not as bad, maybe. I'll have a full report on how it goes.

Oh, and I'm so jealous of all my yankee friends who have some totally awesome snow!

Christmas Present Bandit!!

Oh, the carnage....oh the destruction!!!

This is what mom saw when she came home today! Who could have dragged helpless presents from under the tree and freed them from their wrapping paper bonds?!?

I have no idea...which mom finds soooooo odd, since I was left in the house all day by a nice mommy who left me in because it was pouring rain this morning. I'm not sure, but I have my suspicions...

See, I think while I was asleep, the kitties must have torn into the presents, setting me up! Knowing that mom would blame poor, innocent little me! I mean, why would I ever tear into all those shiny, paper covered presents? I guess I do have a tendency to destroy left out tissues and stuff, but that's NOTHING like shiny, oh so shiny and tempting, wrapping paper and bows...why would I do that?

The total carnage from me...err....I mean the kitties is a mauled DVD cover, a book for Aunt Temple that is dead (that's where I see the most prevelant kitty bite marks...ahem) and some fancy smancy smoker wood chips for Uncle Matt, which are now just mulch.

Mom took it well....although I had to stay outside while she rewrapped the gifts. And now I'm not allowed near the tree...but the kitties are! Hmph.

Man I hope Santa was taking a nap today...for the kitties sake...of course! I didn't do ANYTHING....whistle whistle.....

Time Machine Thursday: I Believe I Can Fly!

Queue up the R-Kelly, today’s time machine trip takes us back to 1903 when two brothers decided to do something peoples can’t do…fly!

I arrived in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina to see this flight. First, I was scared I was going to be attacked by giant kitty-hawks! How scary is that?!?! I may have pooped a little at the thought! Maybe that’s why they wanted to fly, so they could battle the kitty hawks?

(artist composite image, these aren't real. Thank god!)

So the brothers, Orville and Wilbur Wright, flew the first airplane for 12 seconds and 120 feet. This was a big deal. Peoples always wanted to fly, but can’t. This helped prove peoples could fly with some nifty machinery.

Actually, they tried the first flight on Dec. 14 but the engine died and they went boom.


After making repairs for three days they tried again. And success! They flew three more times that day, with the last flight covering 852 feet in 59 seconds—almost a whole minute in the air!
The brothers kept working and by 1905 their planes could move around in the air and fly for 39 minutes at a time (they really needed to work on that “one minute short” rounding up thing).

And now thanks to them, peoples can fly all over the world! They've even flown to the moon...wow. Okay, everybody together now!

I believe I can fly

I believe I can touch the sky

I think about it every night and day

Spread my wings and fly away

I believe I can soar

I see me running through that open door

I believe I can fly

I believe I can fly

I believe I can fly

So true R Kelly....so true...

New Hangout Room

Hey all! Hope you're having a great week. I am. Cause I now have a new hangout! It's called the "spare room" which was formerly known as the "junk room".

The old "junk room" was closed off and filled with crap that mom and dad had and stuff they never unpacked from when they moved four years ago. Way to be on top of things parents....seriously.

Anyway, mom decided on Sunday she was sick of the junk and wants to move the real spare room (where Aunt Temple and peoples stay when they visit mom and dad) to where the junk room was cause it's bigger and has TV/Dish hookup.

So mom and dad went through the junk. They found a lot of funny stuff from mom's college days and from when they were dating. Most of it all ended up here:

And no, that's not my kiddie pool. Mom killed my kiddie pool. That's one the neighbors were throwing out and it blew over in our yard during the evil rains. So mom just put it in out garbage pile. The pile looks a little messy cause some peoples came by and went through it, looking for stuff. Peoples are so dang weird.

Anyway, so now we have this giant bare room! Duncan and I love it! We just like to hang out in it. We can wrestle in it and not hit any furniture or anything!

But I found another use for it...I can hide all my treasures there! This morning while mom was getting ready for work, she noticed I wasn't around and was really quiet. I don't know why she thinks this is odd. Anyway, she came into my new hangout room and found this:

I was umm...helping with laundry! Yeah, that's it. I don't know why she got so mad. I mean, I just relocated a random cat string toy, a fuzzy sock, a pair of shorts and a sweater into this room. Oh, and mom's bra, but she took that out of the photo, she doesn't want her unmentionalbles on the internet.

It was a little bare and I was trying to make it homey. Yeah, that's it!! And look, I even color coordinated everything I stole...umm..I mean, relocated to a more homey place!

In the end, mom was not impressed and tried to take all my treasures away. I don't know why she cares....she doesn't play with kitty toys and it's too cold and her legs are WAY too white to be wearing shorts. I'm doing society a favor by keeping those shorts away from her!

I hope Santa wasn't watching this....