Thursday, July 23, 2009
See, mom left me for Fee-nix. She returned and I was happy, but she didn't even bring me a souvineer!! What the crap is up with that?? Would you trust what this woman says? A woman who doesn't even bring her baby girl dog a present? AND on my 10 month b'day? I didn't think so.
Anyway, yesterday morning I awoke and was full of life! I was soooo happy. The weather's been great, mom was home (even sans present..ahem) and it was going to be a great day. I started by trying to share my joy with Duncan. Duncan is a sourpus in the morning...he just wants to go back to bed. So I ever so nicely, tried to drag him out of the bed by his leg. Mom yelled at me.
Then I decided to innocently share my joy with the kitties. Two of them ran from me. Simon laid there which I thought meant he wanted to play with me. So I walked up to him and umm...decided to give him a hug, yeah, that's it, but since I don't have thumbs I put his head in my mouth. Mom yelled at me again.
Mom was getting ready for work so I decided to help by bringing her shoes. Now, since I don't wear shoes, how am I supposed to know which shoes she wants to wear? So I bring her ALL the shoes! Dad's sandals, mom's flip flops. Mom yelled again and took all the shoes away. Evil mom.
The laundry was going so I, being such a great little helper oh, and supermodel, decided to help take clothes to the washer, so I picked up mom's underpants. As I trott my little helper butt towards the washer, mom is after me telling me to drop it. She was going to foil my plan of helping with laundry, I assure you, eating the underpants was the last thing on my mind. Yeah, so anyway, mom starts to chase me around the table....something I find NO joy in, let me tell you.
Mom gets the leash (which someone had drug into the floor...hmm...must have been a kitty...whistle whistle) and fools me into going for a walk, I drop the underpants, she goes "AH-HA!" grabs the underpants and walks down the hall.
Now, I've had enough...wait, no, um, I noticed mom looked stressed so I gently gave her a butt massage. Okay, I lie, I ran right up behind her and bit her butt. But she deserved it! I promise, your honour, that all my intentions were pure. No way would I pester my brother, the kitties or mom!
Mom called me a spoiled little teenager brat! Dad laughed his ass off at mom telling him all of this. So that's what really happened....seriously!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Mom calls it Bawk Bawk, cause if she calls it chiken I think it's time to eat and run to the fridge. So, she called it Bawk Bawk. Daddy asked why she didn't just call it Cluck Cluck or something and mom said for daddy to shut up, it's Bawk Bawk and it's going to stay Bawk Bawk. Dad just rolled his eyes and watched TV.
Anyway, I love Bawk Bawk because it doesn't just squeak, it makes a noise like a minature elephant being attacked by wombats. It's sooo funny. And I just love to lay there and squish it and make it make noises and make mommy and daddy try to ignore it but then I just get LOUDER! I can't believe they actually bought me this weapon of distraction! Muwhahahahaha!
Other than that, I survived my first fouth of July. I really didn't pay any attention to the fireworks...Duncan completely spazed out and had to be put inside, but I just chilled out.
OH!! And while at aunti Lou's house I found a dead squirrel! It was awesome! But mom saw me with it and, yep you guessed it, said "Leave it!" I almost made her chase me with it, like I do with her underwear in the mornings, but I dropped it. But man, that five seconds of nasty squirrel in my mouth was what makes this country great!
Anyway, I don't know what we're doing this weekend. I think mom is itching to go on a hike or something, but we're not sure how hot it's going to be. The weather dude keeps talking about the high human-di-ty but it's been kinda nice. Mom says if it's low humandity we might go to Auburn this weekend and let me walk around campus and Chewbacca park!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I stick my tounge out and Ducan goes: "WHHAAAAAA?"
Duncan: Hey there whipper snapper!!!
You tastes like chiken! You too!!
Anyway, I'm about to experience my first 4th of July. Mom said we're going to go up and see Aunti Lou and Temple and that means I get to play with cousin Lola the corgi, Sadie the Golden and Lilly the Frenchie. I'm pretty pumped. Oh and she's going to make, are you ready for this, PUPPY ICECREAM!!!! Score!!!!