Setting the Record STRAIGHT

Okay, I understand my mommy has been slandering me around her friends. And I, Annabelle the GSD, am here to defend myself and set the record straight!

See, mom left me for Fee-nix. She returned and I was happy, but she didn't even bring me a souvineer!! What the crap is up with that?? Would you trust what this woman says? A woman who doesn't even bring her baby girl dog a present? AND on my 10 month b'day? I didn't think so.

Anyway, yesterday morning I awoke and was full of life! I was soooo happy. The weather's been great, mom was home (even sans present..ahem) and it was going to be a great day. I started by trying to share my joy with Duncan. Duncan is a sourpus in the morning...he just wants to go back to bed. So I ever so nicely, tried to drag him out of the bed by his leg. Mom yelled at me.

Then I decided to innocently share my joy with the kitties. Two of them ran from me. Simon laid there which I thought meant he wanted to play with me. So I walked up to him and umm...decided to give him a hug, yeah, that's it, but since I don't have thumbs I put his head in my mouth. Mom yelled at me again.

Mom was getting ready for work so I decided to help by bringing her shoes. Now, since I don't wear shoes, how am I supposed to know which shoes she wants to wear? So I bring her ALL the shoes! Dad's sandals, mom's flip flops. Mom yelled again and took all the shoes away. Evil mom.

The laundry was going so I, being such a great little helper oh, and supermodel, decided to help take clothes to the washer, so I picked up mom's underpants. As I trott my little helper butt towards the washer, mom is after me telling me to drop it. She was going to foil my plan of helping with laundry, I assure you, eating the underpants was the last thing on my mind. Yeah, so anyway, mom starts to chase me around the table....something I find NO joy in, let me tell you.

Mom gets the leash (which someone had drug into the floor...hmm...must have been a kitty...whistle whistle) and fools me into going for a walk, I drop the underpants, she goes "AH-HA!" grabs the underpants and walks down the hall.

Now, I've had enough...wait, no, um, I noticed mom looked stressed so I gently gave her a butt massage. Okay, I lie, I ran right up behind her and bit her butt. But she deserved it! I promise, your honour, that all my intentions were pure. No way would I pester my brother, the kitties or mom!

Mom called me a spoiled little teenager brat! Dad laughed his ass off at mom telling him all of this. So that's what really happened....seriously!