So last night Dad was at work and it was just me, mom, Duncan and the kitties. The kitties still refuse to dish out anything. They could be spies for Russia they're so good. So I keep chasing them just to piss them off. They deserve it.
I was laying on the floor next to mom chewing on my squirrel dude when mom whips this out:
"You have a long week Mrs. Belle! Thursday will be over quick and it's the best thing for you, we don't want any suitors coming around. We'll go get your new collar on Friday when we go up to Birmingham since I can't leave you here, and since you'll be a big girl and need your big girl collar!"
Okay, let's disect this comment:
1. "over quick" does not sound like a good thing...it sounds like a load of bunk you tell someone to make them feel better.
2. "best thing for you" echos the sentiment above...the best thing for me is a giant bone, a squeaky ball and a piece of cheese. None of which was mentioned
3. "suitors" what the hell are suitors??
4. "new collar" okay, that sounds fine
5. "can't leave you here" why can't you leave me here? What does this even mean??
6. "big girl collar" I guess I am a big girl, I'm on the last knotch of my current collar. But it does also sound like she's trying to buy my love or is buttering me up for something...
I only have like two days left, so I guess I'll just have to stick with listening to the parents since the kitties are about as helpful as squirrels at this point.