Monday, July 11, 2011

Mommy Funny--NOT!

Mom got this email the other day and thought it was soooooo funny. I am not amused.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

1. The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

2. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

3. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

4. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

5. The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first then go smell the other dog or cat's/or your own butt. I cannot stress this enough.

We have formed a rebuttle to this:


1. We are only taste testing the noms for you. In olden days royalty could be poisoned...and you are royalty to us. You never know who might try to poizon a donut or steak! We do it because we love you!

2. We don't have a the loop from the living room, around the kitching table and back IS in the form of a racetrack. So pffft!

3. I don't know what you mean. When I fall asleep everything is fine. The kitties are quite mad you don't appreciate them aligning your neck and spine by sleeping on top of or on either side of your head. And you know we all fit fine when dad's not you might want to take this up with him. He's crampin' our space.

4. I am concerned about anyone who willingly places themself in a tub of water that contains no frogs, sticks or mud. We all are. We are to make sure you make it out safely. That bathroom is a scary place. It's for your best interest.

5. Well...well...I got nothing. Oops.


  1. That has made The Lady Of The House really, really laugh very noisily.

    I don't understand - because I think you guys are seriously RIGHT. Shame on the Mommy for not realising that everything you do is with her best interests at heart!

    Love and licks, Winnie

  2. Yeah. We all fit on the bed perfectly when HE's away. Hmmmm. We're going to discuss this with Her.

    -Gizmo, Bart and Ruby

  3. You has some furry valid points there, Anna. You is so furry smart. Wot would the hoomans do without us? As fur nummer 5, hey, I say wot dussn't kill you makes you stronger so there, anudder thing we do fur their own goods. It be fur bolstering their immoonities.

  4. Ana....this is WONDERFUL...we just love your rebuttal!!

    Dory, Jacob and Bilbo

  5. Marmie is on to us. She says, if I'm really trying to taste test her food for her...why do I only eat her yogurt and her spinach??

  6. Seems like you are on the right track Anna - we know you are right !

  7. I let my momma read this one... gave her a giggle. I agree with you completely!

  8. We are all being affected by a case of the giggles here! Anna, I think your arguments are quite sound and I think your mom should listen to you. As for number 5, well, sniffing someone's butt is considered a custom where I come from, and I'm treating the humans with great respect when I do that!


  9. BOL, Anna - we LOVE LOVE LOVE the rebuttal.

    Thanks for a great laugh.

    Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

  10. That is so funny...I laughed through the entire thing and especially the rebutta!!! Thanks....I needed that laugh!!! Lots of love, Debbie & Holly

  11. BAH!!! Fantastic! This was read aloud and everyone was laughing out loud. Drinks had to be put down for fear of snarfing.

  12. Hey Anna!
    Wow, this first list has me totally confused a whole bunch! WTF??!! I like your list a lot better. We have jobs to do...and we need our space. The rest frankly makes no sense. Great job with your list! BOL
    Grr and a Chuckling Woof,
    Sarge, COP