MSK Zombie Addition

As I mentioned yesterday, in mom's total lack in regard to her own health (umm helloooo, we can't feed ourselves you know!), we now have a zombie like situation on our hands. So we've added Zombie Procedures to the MSK (mom sick kit).

Yesterday, mom came dragging in, after getting no sleep the night before. She kinda just laid on the couch...I'd sniff her to make sure she was still breathing or to check on the occasional cough. She made it till about 7:30, fed us our dinner, took a bath and passed out.

It was waaaay early. But I humored her and laid in bed with her until she fell asleep, then went to chew my bone. Plus Simon and Alley stayed in there and slept on her and Dunc was on his bed on the floor so I knew she was in good paws.

This morning she awoke making odd snotty-like-coughing noises and she kinda just wandered around at super slow zombie speed. I was so glad when dad got home early! Finally, someone to play with, and help me watch zombie mom. As zombie mom got ready for work, she almost walked out with no shoes on her feets!

Dad: Honey, do you need shoes

Zombie Mom: oh crap...

Dad: are you okay to drive?

ZM: Well yes!

Dad: Why don't you stay home?

ZM: I have STUFF to do at work! And I'm FINE (uh oh), I just can't get this stuff out of my head!

Dad: Okay...I'll um try to get you some more drugs from work today. Love you!

Smart dad, he realized the use of the word "FINE" and backed off. It seems realizing when to pick your zombie battles is key in survival. I hope dad gets some mom some good anti-zombie drugs today at the human Dr. Vet office. At least dad will be home tonight!

Oh, and for your peoples that have the same reaction to the Syrup medicine, it used to make mom pass out stone cold, but now it doesn't work. So no more of that EVER!! Per Nurse Anna's orders!!

Mom Sick ≠ Anna Sick = Boo!

I learned something, apparently mom being sick is not equal to one of us fur kids being sick. See, whenever mom thinks one of is is feeling not up to par, she gets all worried, poking and prodding all over us, and if needed, taking us to Dr. Vet ASAP.

Now, on the other hand, apparently mom's ears have been stopped up for like four months. FOUR months. Does she go to human Dr. Vet? Oh noooooo! She waits until she becomes completely infested then goes. Now I ask you, how is this fair? I swear, what we put up with when it comes to our peoples!

So yeah, mom has a SEVERE sinus infection (duh) and a touch of bronchitis. So she came home and dad and I assembled the Mom Sick Kit (MSK).


Apple J, drugs, a thermometer and a brownie...cause nothing says healing like chocolate. Mom spent most of the day konked out. Then last night she took the cough syrup which should make you sleepy, but instead mom's head was filled with thoughts and she got only like 1 hour sleep. So, I'm revising the MSK:

So now we need more brownies and less crazy, zombie inducing medicines. In going over the MSK, I also realized one thing....

See, when mom takes her temperature, she just puts this nice thing in her mouth. Why is it then that when I got to Dr. Vet I have to have this put in the "you know where"?!?!?! Hmmm....

Oh well, at least she's feeling better-ish. Just sleep deprived and zombie like. At least she's getting this out of her system before the big game on Saturday! Also, thanks to some info from some awesome doggie bloggers, we're going to change our hiking itenerary for vacay in 29 days!! Whoooo hooo!!!

I Iz Alive

Yeah, that artsy photo thing is all mom has of me. Cause you know why? We ain't done SQUAT in forever!! It's been soooo bloody hot that no body wants to do nothin! I've got a few walks here and there, at night, when it gets below 95 degrees. Sigh.

Luckily we do have some funs coming up!! Next week starts DUN DA DA DUN! College Football!! Which means our National Championship Auburn Tigers start play! Which means I have to get out my lucky Auburn collar! Time to hoop and holler with the parents! We're not sure how our Tigers are going to do this year, but we don't care. We just want to watch the footballs!

Also, in 33 days (who's counting??) we head up to North Carrylina for vacayshun! It's like in the 70s there now....with now humidities. We can't wait. Mom has already scoped out some new trails for us this year along the Blue Ridge Parkway, and guess what?? I may get to expand my states visited to Furrginia!!! I'm very excited about this!

A few of the trails mom wants to hit are:

Tanawah Trail

Beacon Hights (not Bacon like I thought it was last year!)

Roaring Fork Falls (I wonder if they has a spoon?)

Mount Mitchell

Crabtree Falls

Boone Fork Trail

and the Cumberland Knob Trail whic will put us on the Furrginia State line!

Mom says that after a few days of these trails, her and dad are going to leave us tired sleepy pups at the cabin and they're going to the Biltmore in Asheville for a day. I think I might need that rest!

To all my friends near Evil Irene, please stay safe! My paws are crossed for you and your peoples!!!

Hoarders?

Mom likes watching crazy TV shows....things like Intervention, Swamp People (CHOOT IT!) and now, Hoarders.

It makes her either:

A. Feel really good about our house

B. Have the need to clean somehting

While watching last night's episode, mom said "I'm so glad we got rid of any clutter we had when we redid the house!" But then as she looked at me she got a weird look on her face....

"Anna, my darling, you have have a hoarding problem...."

WHA?!?!?!

I don't know what you're talking about!

I know them all by name!!!

I think you're just jealous!!!

I know I'm not a hoarder! I can't even compete with Buttons who has the most impressive toy stash in the WORLD!

Mom stated this pile doesn't include my outdoor toys or the countless number of socks and underpants I run around with....pffft. Whatever woman!! Now go out and buy me something!!!!

Old Man Checkup

Last week mom finally got to do something she hasn't done in a while, take a critter other than me or Simon to the Dr. Vet!! It's not something she looks forward too, but at least this wasn't because of an eye problem or a thyroid issue, it was just Dunc's old man checkup.

Since he's the ripe old age of 13, Dunc gets the full "Senior Blood Panel" (aka Old Fart Blood Work) done each year now. Mom always gets worried that something will show up. I tell her all the time that Duncan is fine, as long as you feed him during his pre-set feeding times, there will be no problems.

Oh well, so off they went, leaving me at home (BOOOO!). Unlike me, Dunc LOVES Dr. Vet's office. He loves getting petted and treats. Me? Not worth having things stuck up the "you know where" but he doesn't mind.

This time, they also wanted a pee sample. So mom took Dunc out front and followed him around with a tupperware like container trying to capture they "essence de Duncan". It took three times. Dunc told me it was like a fun game. Mom was not amused.

So Dr. Vet called with the bloodwork....the call mom always dreads. But Dr. Vet said he's doing GREAT! Yay!! One thing did come back a little high, and that's his cholesterol. Mom said whatever, he's 13, he's on a raw diet, what more can you do??

Looks like the old man is doing well. I think this means we need celebratory noms!!

The Mysterious Case of the TP Bandit

It was a nice quiet night. Crickets chirped, bugs buzzed, mom watched TV, I nomed my bone, Dunc was passed out....we were clueless to the carnage going on down the hall.

Mom was a little worried when she saw the bathroom door ajar....she cautiously opened the door, turned on the light and screamed when she saw THIS:


Oh, the pup-manity! A whole role of TP sat colorless and lifeless on the floor. What a waste.

Upon hearing mom's scream I ran into Inspektor Anna action. My list of suspects was pretty slim. It wasn't me, it wasn't Duncan. It also wasn't Simon cause he was laying on mom the whole time. Alley? No way. That would require effort and unless there's noms or a twinkie hidden in the roll of TP she doesn't do anything...so that only left: Mia

Mia who has always had a TP fetish. Mia who stalks quietly from bathroom to bathroom looking for victims.

There she was, coming back to relish in her crime. I did not approve, so I went PFFFFTTTTT! at her and gave her a raspberry of dissaproval.

She hung her head in shame. She knew she was busted. As she tried to flee I chased her under the kitchen table and kept her in that prison until bedtime. Case Closed--Inspektor Anna out.

Mommy Funny--NOT!

Mom got this email the other day and thought it was soooooo funny. I am not amused.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

1. The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

2. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

3. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

4. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

5. The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first then go smell the other dog or cat's/or your own butt. I cannot stress this enough.

We have formed a rebuttle to this:

Mom:

1. We are only taste testing the noms for you. In olden days royalty could be poisoned...and you are royalty to us. You never know who might try to poizon a donut or steak! We do it because we love you!

2. We don't have a stairway...so the loop from the living room, around the kitching table and back IS in the form of a racetrack. So pffft!

3. I don't know what you mean. When I fall asleep everything is fine. The kitties are quite mad you don't appreciate them aligning your neck and spine by sleeping on top of or on either side of your head. And you know we all fit fine when dad's not there...so you might want to take this up with him. He's crampin' our space.

4. I am concerned about anyone who willingly places themself in a tub of water that contains no frogs, sticks or mud. We all are. We are to make sure you make it out safely. That bathroom is a scary place. It's for your best interest.

5. Well...well...I got nothing. Oops.